Like any other NICU parent will tell you, I’m sure, our first week in the NICU has been a roller coaster. And for me, the first couple of days are hazy at best.
Our first night the staff calls to tell us we need to come see Javin. He isn’t doing well. His body doesn’t want to breathe and is trying to go into shock. We go see him, and I get to touch him for the first time. He has a mask on his face, and one of the staff is hand pumping oxygen into his lungs. We leave so the staff can do what they need to do to help him.
Around 5:00 am I call to check on him. They say they are still hand pumping oxygen to him, but he is doing better. They’ll try getting him on a ventilator in a little while.
Later we find out that around 7:00 am things got even worse. From what I understand, something had plugged the ventilator which of course caused Javin to not get any oxygen. They ended up having to do chest compressions to save him.
After that first scare, I wouldn’t say things got easier. It’s not easy to just look at your baby lying in a box with a multitude of tubes pumping oxygen, antibiotics, fluids, medicines, and blood platelets into him, unable to touch him or hold him. It’s not easy knowing there are so many unknowns out there. BUT. After praying with The Husband that first night, things got…. bearable.
By day four Javin was off of all three blood pressure medicines, the ventilator was replaced with a cpap, he wasn’t being sedated anymore, and he had a feeding tube placed.
But with the good comes the bad. There were a few concerns:
- his right lung was partially collapsed.
- his left kidney was swollen.
- he has a grade two brain bleed.
We don’t know what lasting effects might come from all these concerns. What we can do is keep an eye on each concern and pray it doesn’t worsen.
Many people have mentioned to The Husband and me how calm we have been through all this. In our minds we have two options.
- waste time and energy stressing over something we have no control over
2. place Javin and the entire situation in God’s hands and trust Him
Now, that doesn’t mean I haven’t stressed at times or cried at times. I am a woman and a mother, after all. Being emotional is something we excel at, right?
But trusting in God has allowed me to take a deep breath, dry my eyes, and walk into that NICU room to sit and watch my baby breathe.
Trusting in God has also allowed me to leave Javin in the care of the nurses and doctors of the NICU so that I can go spend time with my two other children.